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01:26am 03/07/2010

(Yes, No, Maybe.)

11:27pm 10/01/2008
  I shouldn't even have this anymore...  

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05:13am 03/08/2007
  I haven't written here in nearly a year...

So...how's everyone doing?

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01:02pm 07/12/2006

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01:30pm 14/09/2006
  I've started my past few entries with I'm alive, so now I must tell the truth.

I'm dead. My life has ceased to exist. I was murdered.

The man who murdered me was the captain of a ship by the name of Crunch. He had an Irish feller aboard the ship named Lucky. Everyone kept stealing his charms, it was a sad time...


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01:59pm 12/07/2006
  I'm still alive.

No, really.

Life...Oxygen...Blood flow. It's all good.

Just had alot on my mind lately, and I HAVE been a bit busy over the summer. You know it's rough dealing with all of the idiots at Wal-Mart...Besides...I've become a MySpace Whore.

And no, they have not killed and/or fired me yet, but I assume it will be done in that order if it ever happens.

Which it won't. I'm a Wal-Mart Immortal.

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11:34pm 21/05/2006
  ...I'm still alive.

But I'm also still a total idiot.

Case in Point,

For those of you who read 5/21/2006 Fox Trot either in the paper or online you would have noticed morse code.

Which I translated into "Some Day I Will Rule You All"

Thank You and Goodnight.

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12:05am 10/03/2006
mood: cynical
I've publicly denounced it for years.
I've referred to it as the one bandwagon I'll be damned if I jump on.
I've thrown tomatoes at people who have had anything to do with it.
I offer no explanation as to why.
I offer no justification as there is none really.
I'm a sellout Johnny, I'm a fucking disgrace.
Wal-Mart stole my soul, and left me with nothing.
That's no excuse, I should have stayed strong.
I'm sorry to those of you who stood behind me all these years.

I have joined...



I'm so sorry.

I've let myself down.

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07:04pm 23/02/2006
  Jesus Saves.

Yup, he shops at Wal-Mart.

(Yes, No, Maybe.)

09:22pm 19/02/2006
  One of those moments where speaking was probably not my best option.

A Customer asks me for a certain kind of tracfone, and I say we only carry one. She asked if that was because we were not a super-Wal-Mart, I said yes. Our Wal-Mart does not save the world.

She gives me a strange look, nods her head, and realizes that Wal-Mart does hire ANYONE.

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08:42am 09/02/2006
  OK, I've got to admit to something. I don't want to hear anything about it as it's embarassing enough as it is. It's akward to even say this, so I'm working my way up to it...

I saw Brokeback Mountain yesterday...that's not the worst part...I thought it was really good.

That's right...despite the fact that....I can't even bring myself to say it...

Despite the fact that the director of The Hulk directed this movie...I also liked it. Good, glad to get that secret off my chest.

All in all I thought it was well acted and a good movie...Funny at times, sad at other times.

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01:23pm 07/02/2006
  On the way to my second class, I passed a squirrel in a tree that wouldn't stop staring at me. There we were man and beast, neither one of us prepared to break eye contact or back down. I was fairly sure that if I broke eye contact that it would mean that I allowed the squirrel to make me it's personal bitch. That was not a sacrifice I was willing to make. The clock was ticking however, and I did have a class to go to, so I eventually broke eye contact and walked away as fast as I could. Then I came to the street of muerto, which is spanglish for calle de death. I got halfway across when a car approached. Not welcoming death, I stopped, but the car also stopped, as if to allow my safe passage across the street. Such a thing is unheard of when it comes to the street of muerto, but I did the traditional wave "thank you", and it occurred to me moments later that I had not crossed. Maybe it was because I was the squirrel's bitch and I needed permission. Maybe it's because it was cold and I was thinking about how heat would be a plus. But there was an akward moment between me and the car until I crossed. Which became more akward when I waved again as to say my mind has the day off how are you today? Wanna make me your bitch too?  

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09:07pm 05/02/2006
  "Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.

Work your cares away,
Dancing's for another day.
Let the Fraggles play,
We're Gobo, Mokey, Wembley, Boober, Red.

Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock."

GO (Sports Team)! Beat those (Competing Sports team) at (Sport) You can win the (big game of particular sport)! I'll be rooting for you with my fellow (team mascot) fans! I hope it's a shut out and you score all of the (type of scoring system of sport)! What the (expletive!) (Sport Official) That was a lousy call! You need (Eye Support or removal of cranium from posterior crevice). Here we go (Sports Team)! Here We Go!

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07:30pm 04/02/2006
  'Nother Work Story.

A Guy I work with, whose name I will not use as holy crap...I should just tell the story.

He needed to get a Rated M game out for this kid, who as the guy I work with put it, looked like the kind of kid he could mess with.

Alright, so this associate says "I need to see ID, if you don't have any I'm going to have to break your legs."

Important to know, Yes, stupid thing to say as who the hell would think that playful and funny?

Not this kid especially as his legs were fucked up anyway.


Man, as I heard this I felt bad, yet laughed at the same time...However I didn't do this in front of the kid.

Right...Thanks for shopping at Wal-Mart...don't forget your ID.

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08:55am 02/02/2006
  I had a test today in my computer illiteracy class.

Sample Question:
What is an OK Computer?
A) CD by Radiohead.
B) A computer found at Wal-Mart that will die before you can say "Son of a bitch!"
C) A computer made in Oklahoma.
D) All of the above.

So I was done with the 40 question test after five minutes. I, however, did not want to be the first person done. That labels you. Overachiever. I do not, I repeat, do not want to set a precedent and raise expectations. So I left after 10 minutes.

Once again another near-death experience crossing third street. It looked safe, it felt safe, I walked, and then...car starts coming towards me as I'm in the middle of the road. I stop and my thoughts went a little like this. "Fuck! Hmmm...I wonder what ever happened to Rick Moranis?" Needless to say I lived, and I may do a little research on the Moranis-disappearance sometime later. I realized that I can't die. My soul has already left my body, I work at Wal-Mart. I have no fear.

I also realize that every comment like that takes away a little piece of what little job security I have.

Oh well.

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As per tradition..   
08:54am 02/02/2006
  The Truth about Groundhog's Day...Collapse )  

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11:32am 01/02/2006
  It just occurred to me that the super bowl is this sunday. That's right...JUST occurred to me. I guess we know where my priorities lie.

In things that aren't stupid.

But you can be sure we'll be packed at Wal-Mart on Sunday. Everyone coming in to make sure they get the great deals before the game starts since they won't be able to come in during the game...We don't really have "sales" at Wal-Mart anyway, it's more a matter of what we have advertised, but if it's advertised it must be a good deal...besides we're Wal-Mart...We're the cheapest around. Check your soul at the door and watch out for falling prices.

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01:32pm 23/01/2006

I don't understand the concept of one of my jobs. One Hour Photo. What is the point, really? There are Four types of people who come in needing one hour photo, only one type is justified.

#1 Unjustified: The people who just took the picture. It's of a tree, an animal, a living family member that you just saw at a family reunion.

You just took the picture, you know what the picture is of. Is it necessary to develop fifty rolls of the vacation you just came back from in one hour? "Remember that tree? It was a good tree...you don't remember it? 15 more minutes and I'll show you the picture."

#2 Unjustified: The people who NEED their pictures in an hour and show up a month later for them.

#3 Unjustified: The "I just found these rolls of film" people. They weren't important for the past five years, but now, now all of a sudden it's a matter that needs handled in precisely one hour.

Whenever I get one of these rolls of film, I imagine that I'm about to develop pictures of who really killed Kennedy. So far no film to substantiate my claim that it was Dr. Phil who did him in.

#4 Justified: Cops, people just in car accidents, people needing the pictures for lawful and insurance reasons.

End Rant.

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01:32pm 12/01/2006
  So college has re-begun. A new school ,new classes, and here I am...writing in this thing rather than doing anything of use. Mmmm...The sweet taste of avoiding the necessary.

My first class, CSC110 Intro to Information Technology, apparently signifies me as mentally challenge. I never learned Microsoft Access or Powerpoint or Excel, but I taught myself the latter two, or at least taught myself enough to get by. Access? Yeah, no. But I think if I'm capable of answering computer questions at Wal-Mart, I shouldn't have to be in a class where it takes an hour to learn how to log on. That's right, I must be mentally challenged. Can anyone tell me what an operating system is? "Oooh Me! It's where the doctor's and nurses stand during surgery in order to make sure everything goes right! No? WHAT?!"

After my remedial technology class...I have to cross third street. As a cross a voice in my head keeps saying "Death is not an option. Death is not an option". I'm not sure whose voice it is, but I call him Steve.

Steve doesn't like me calling him Steve, as he is a pre-op transvestite. He'd like me to call him Stephanie. I say screw Steve. If he hasn't paid for the operation yet, then that means the doctors and nurses haven't gotten their operating system ready.

But yes, I'm not a fan of crossing third street, especially when the big metal death dealers with no regard for human life speeds up and/or down the road throwing caution and possible excrement to the wind. I, however, have solved this problem by walking in a group. It's different people each time, and I don't actually talk to them or call them friends. They are what I refer to as my buffer zone. I stay in the middle so that the impact is somewhat cushioned if the vehicle hits me. Yes, as a college student I like to plan for the future.

After playing real-life Frogger, I head to my Microeconomics class. Luckily, I took broken English as a second language (my dad is foreign, and I work at Wal-Mart, so I got mad skillz yo.), so I understand the Professor pretty well, while others are mumbling "What the EFF?" Microeconomics, as you know are tiny economics about the size of a sesame seed.

Next is cultural anthropology. I'm not sure what's going on, but so is life.

Afterwards (now) I have an hour and forty five minute break for lunch, and useless things such as this.

Last, but not least, in my college world, is The Graphic Novel class, where the first Sin City book is required reading, and my homework for today was bring in a recent comic strip. 200 level course even. Needless to say, I look forward to this class. Moreso, when he said this was not a superhero class, and if you think it is, this course is not for you. As I've read a few graphic novels over the years (Maus, Bone, Ghost World), but not many comic books themselves.

Sadly, I still have a job. One that I shall head to after my class, until 8.

Then sleep. Much of it.

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11:53pm 05/01/2006
  Hmm...Scheduling occurred today for Penn College. Yep, I managed to get the computer that froze every 2 minutes and had to be restarted, but it was so full in there I wasn't permitted to switch. This of course angered me. Specifically when a class I wanted was right there to be selected, and my computer froze, upon return some bastard stole it.
Here is what I ended up with Tuesday and Thursday only.

8AM until 9:30AM CSC 110 Intro to Information Technology with S. O'Hargan.

(Supposed to be a good teacher)

9:30AM until 11AM ECO112 Principles of Microeconomics with A. Pathan

(Supposed to be a confusing teacher...)

11AM until 12:30PM SOC111 Intro to Sociology with V.Bahl

(Supposed to be horrible)

12:30PM until 2PM Lunch

2PM until 3:30PM ENL257 The Graphic Novel with D.Sims

(Looks interesting, and I've read some of the things on the course listing already...because I'm a dork, I also heard the prof was cool)

I want to switch My Intro to Soc class with Intro to Cultural Anthropology which is not only a "culture" Class, but the prof R. Cooley got better ratings.


Oh, and I got a little drunk on champagne on New Years Eve making my resolution "Not to underage drink anymore" I think I can make a month.

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